The Show Place

lswot wrote:......so who put the flag pole back up?

Xjmt wrote:

lswot wrote:......so who put the flag pole back up?

FEMA

Be afraid! Be very, very afraid!!

>>>Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to
>>>make this
>>>a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as
>>>clergy.
>>>
>>>As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some
>>>really outrageous
>>>shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning, they went to
>>>the beach,
>>>dressed in their "tourist" garb. They were sitting on beach chairs,
>>>enjoying
>>>a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" topless
>>>blonde in a thong bikini came walking straight towards them. They
>>>couldn't help
>>>but stare.
>>>
>>>As the blonde passed them, she smiled and said, "Good morning, Father,
>>>good
>>>morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them.
>>>
>>>They were both stunned. How in the world did she know that they are
>>>priests?
>>>
>>>The next day, they went back to the store and bought even more
>>>outrageous outfits.
>>>These were so loud that you could HEAR them before you even saw them.
>>>Once again,
>>>the two priests (incognito) settled on the beach, in their chairs to
>>>enjoy the
>>>sunshine.
>>>
>>>After a while, the same gorgeous topless blonde, wearing a string bikini,
>>>taking
>>>her sweet time, came walking toward them. Again, she nodded, said "Good
>>>morning,
>>>Father," to each of them and started to walk away.
>>>
>>>One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, "Just a
>>>minute,
>>>young lady..."
>>>
>>>"Yes?" she replied.
>>>
>>>"We ARE priests, and proud of it, but I have to know..... how in the
>>>world
>>>did you KNOW we are priests, dressed as we are?"
>>>
>>>"Father," she replied, "it's me, Sister Mary Frances!"
>>>

A heart warming story about the bond formed between a little girl and some construction workers. This will make you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew came in and began building a house on the empty lot.

The family's 5-year old daughter became interested in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually, the construction crew, all of them gems in the rough, more or less adopted her as a project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they took coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, the men presented her with a pay envelope with $2.00 inside. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration. Mom suggested that they start a savings account.

When they talked to the teller, she was impressed and asked the little girl how she had earned her very own money at such a young age.

The child proudly replied , "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."

The teller said, "Wow, and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied,"I will if those a**holes at Home Depot ever deliver the f***ing sheetrock."

A married couple was in a terrible accident, where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"

She replied, "Darling, I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."