Recycling

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Mon Oct 05, 2009 12:45 pm

What's your point?

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Mon Oct 05, 2009 6:23 pm

Henry J wrote:What's your point?

Run you little so and so.....run!

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Tue Oct 06, 2009 2:13 pm

Why

.

did the kid

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study

.

in the airplane?
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Because he wanted a higher education!

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Tue Oct 06, 2009 5:35 pm

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Fri Oct 09, 2009 7:54 pm

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Fri Oct 30, 2009 11:30 am

Why does a witch ride a broom?

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.
.
.
The Vacuum cleaner's power is cord is too short.

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What do you call a witch's garage?

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.
.
.
A broom closet.

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How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?

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.
.
.
Give him screws.

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How can you tell a vampire likes baseball?

.
.
.
.
Every night he turns into a bat.

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Why didn't the ghost dance at the party?

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.
.
.
He had no body to dance with.

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How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?

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.
.
.
With a pumpkin patch

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What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to its diameter?

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.
.
.
Pumpkin Pi

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What happened to the guy who didn't pay his exorcist?

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.
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He was repossessed

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Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?

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.
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They're afraid of flying off the handle

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Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Mon Jan 04, 2010 2:25 pm

Why did the turkey cross the road?

To prove it wasn't chicken.

Henry

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Mon Jan 04, 2010 6:19 pm

-cluck cluck-

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Mon Jan 04, 2010 7:12 pm

Nah, that would be -gobble, gobble-.

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Tue Jan 05, 2010 11:57 am

Henry J wrote:Nah, that would be -gobble, gobble-.

Just saying I wasn't chicken......

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sun Jan 10, 2010 9:56 pm

A man put in 10 puns for a pun contest, hoping that at least one of them would win. But sadly, no pun in ten did.

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Mon Jan 11, 2010 12:00 pm

***groan***

Try these:

Kids Are Quick
____________________________________

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I'.
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Mon Jan 18, 2010 9:59 am

*****

Rap is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.

Dyslexics have more fnu.

Entropy isn't what it used to be.

Microbiology Lab: Staph Only!

Eschew obfuscation.

Ground Beef: A Cow With No Legs.

186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW.

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Air Pollution is a "mist-demeaner."

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way.

COLE'S LAW: Thinly sliced cabbage.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Editing is a rewording activity.

Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy.

I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.

No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.

*****

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Wed Mar 17, 2010 3:18 pm

Who's Irish and lives in your backyard?

Patty O'Furniture

The Show Place

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