Recycling

[LHawke]

Use contraceptives on all conceivable occasions - (can't recall the author)

[Henry J]

Then there's a poster on another BB whose signature says she's found her personality to be an adequate contraceptive...

[brian]

I've always found other peoples' children to be the best contraceptive.

[lswot]

[Henry J]

I've always found other peoples' children to be the best contraceptive.

You mean from the headaches they cause?

Henry

[lswot]

In your case.....yeah.

[LHawke]

made cookies...no one to share them with...good thing. Had to use the toaster oven since the actual oven burned the last batch.
Glad my kids are grown. Means I get ALL the cookies! BWAAA HAAA HAAA

[lswot]

Oh No! It's the Cookie Monster!!!

[Henry J]

-------------------
Family Jokes

A couple, desperate to conceive a child, went to their priest and asked him to pray for them. "I'm going on a sabbatical to Rome," he replied, "and while I'm there, I'll light a candle for you."
When the priest returned three years later, he went to the couple's house and found the wife pregnant, busily attending to two sets of twins. Elated, the priest asked her where her husband was so that he could congratulate him.
"He's gone to Rome, to blow that candle out" came the harried reply.

-------------------

[Henry J]

: Bar & Drinking Jokes

Three leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink.

The president of Budweiser orders a Bud.

Miller's president orders a Millers and the president of Coors orders a Coors.

When it is Guinness turn to order he orders a soda.

Why didn't you order a Guinness everyone asks?

Nah Guinness replies. If you guys aren't having a beer neither will I.

----------------------------------

Henry

[brian]

Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul."
"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now."

Brief Pause.

"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table,
run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."
"Okay Daddy, just a minute."
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it Daddy."
"And what happened honey?" he asked.
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran
around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
and now she isn't moving at all!"
"Oh my God!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."

***Long Pause***

***Longer Pause***

***Even Longer Pause***

Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?....
Is this 486-5731?" (⊙▂⊙)

[lswot]

[lswot]

These are fun.......

http://www.offthemark.com/cartoons/star+trek/pg/1/

[Henry J]

----------------------------------

Media

Things learned from TV:

All crimes are solved in 1 hour.

The Good guy always wins.

When you're trapped, you always find a way out.

A trip from Los Angeles to China takes 5 seconds.

All women still have makeup on when they wake up in the morning.

When you're a hero, you will never get burnt in a fire.

----------------------------------

Henry

[lswot]

Someone watches waaaayyyyyy to much tv