Recycling

[Henry J]

Bono and the Edge walk into a bar…
The barman says “Oh no... not U2 again!"

[Henry J]

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don't know and I don't care.

[Henry J]

The tea and coffee are married, but the tea leaves. Does that give the coffee grounds for divorce?

[Henry J]

Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He would stop at nothing to avoid them.

[Henry J]

Concerning fractions ... There is a fine line between who will know the denominator from the numerator.

[Henry J]

Did you hear about the hen who could count her own eggs? She was a mathemachicken.

[Henry J]

Just spent $300 on a limo and realized that it doesn't come with a driver.
Can't believe i spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.

[Henry J]

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti.
You should've seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.

(Pasta la vista!)

[Henry J]

The weather man lied. I went outside with a helmet and a bucket to collect money but all I got was water. He said we should expect change in the weather.

[Henry J]

Confidence is that feeling you have until you fully understand the situation.

[Henry J]

How long is one minute?
It depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

[Henry J]

Television is a medium, so called because it is neither rare nor well done.

[Henry J]

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

[Henry J]

Q: Can a bird make a pun?
A: No, but toucan.

[Henry J]

Why does NASA use Linux?

Because you can't open Windows in space.