Recycling

[Xjmt]

[lswot]

27. I'm sorry...that's not my job

[Henry J]

Well now just let me check your job description to verify that...

[Henry J]

Five-year-old little Joey was staring intently at an elderly woman sitting behind him in church one day. Finally he got up the courage to ask how old she was (a question that shocked and embarrassed his parents). The elderly woman smiled and said, "Why, I'm 39 and holding." Joey thought a few moments and then asked, "Well how old would you be if you let go?"

(Older than Jack Benny? )

***

Henry

[lswot]

Well now just let me check your job description to verify that...

I'd get so angry with people at work when they'd say that to me......usually it WAS their job they just didn't want to do whatever I had asked.....thinking I wouldn't know what their job was. (mainly because I used to have their job).

[Xjmt]

Well now just let me check your job description to verify that...

I'd get so angry with people at work when they'd say that to me......usually it WAS their job they just didn't want to do whatever I had asked.....thinking I wouldn't know what their job was. (mainly because I used to have their job).

Speak softly and carry a big taser.

[Henry J]

Just keep your laser printer set on stun...

[Henry J]

I used to work in an orange juice factory, until I got canned. Yeah, they put the squeeze on me, said I couldn't concentrate. You know, same old boring rind over and over again.

I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. It was a sew-sew job.

I used to work in a muffler factory, until I got exhausted.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.

I wanted to be a chef, figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

I used to be a deli worker, but I couldn't cut the mustard.

I used to be a musician, but I wasn't noteworthy.

I used to be a math teacher until I found out I had no class.

I used to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patients.

*****

Henry

[lswot]

Just keep your laser printer set on stun...

Good idea. But, don't have to worry about that, anymore. Thank Goodness.

[lswot]

Well now just let me check your job description to verify that...

I'd get so angry with people at work when they'd say that to me......usually it WAS their job they just didn't want to do whatever I had asked.....thinking I wouldn't know what their job was. (mainly because I used to have their job).

Speak softly and carry a big taser.

yeah....that would work!!!

[Henry J]

The judge was disturbed. This was the ninth time this year that George had appeared before him and the ninth time he was convicted. It was always for minor crimes, shoplifting a six-pack of beer, pick-pocketing, breaking into a parking meter. And he always seemed to be caught with the loot still on him.

Before sentencing George, the judge decided to try to make him see the errors of his ways. "You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself." he told George.

George answered, . . .
...."No man should be ashamed of his convictions."

(Stan Kegel)

*****

[lswot]

soooo, when did you change your name to George?

[Henry J]

***

Duct Tape is a lot like the Force (i.e. Star Wars). It has a Light side and a Dark side, and it holds the Universe together.

***

Knock! knock!

Who's there?

Ash!

Ash WHO?

Gesundheit!

***

What did the skunk say when the wind changed?

It all comes back to me now.

*****

How do you cut the sea in half?

With a sea saw.

*****

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

Mae West (1892-1980)

*****

[no George here!]

[lswot]

The cartoon Shoe:

Editor: What's wrong, Cosmo...you look upset?
Cosmo: I am. I had a very disturbing dream last night. I dreamed Frosty the Snowman was convicted of mudering Jack Frost.
Editor: Wow. What happened?
Cosmo: He was sentenced to the Electric Blanket.

[Henry J]

Shocking!