Recycling

[Henry J]

Common sense is not so common.

[Henry J]

Eschew obfuscation!

[Gesungheit!]

[Henry J]

Blessed is he who has reached the point of no return and knows it for he shall enjoy living.

[Henry J]

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to work twelve hours a day. - Robert Frost

[Henry J]

Bureaucracy: a method for transforming energy into solid waste.

[Henry J]

Business one liners

Anything is possible, but nothing is easy.

[Henry J]

Anything labeled "New" and/or "Improved" isn't. The label means the price went up. The label "All New", "Completely New", or "Great New" means the price went way up.

[And, redecorating a store or restaurant is an excuse to raise prices! ]

[Henry J]

Anything that doesn't eat you today is saving you for tomorrow.

[i.e., stay away from Jurassic Park / World! ]

[Henry J]

Anything that is designed to do more than one thing cannot do any of them well.

[Henry J]

Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.

[Henry J]

Fireworks ..

When Marco Polo first opened the trade routes to China, he was quite impressed with their rockets.

Now, these weren't quite the fireworks we now know, but they did shoot into the air, explode and make some pretty patterns. Strangely, no matter where he went, there were people who made fireworks, but he had trouble finding someone to demonstrate them for him.

"Not here!" they said. ...very confusing.

Until ol' Marc came upon an ancient military fortification at the community of Chu'Lai. Here, fireworks were launched every night, and Marc was very impressed!

But still he wondered, "Why here?"

At the end of every week, people came from great distances, bringing their own fireworks to launch.

So Marco Polo asked his guide why everyone came here to launch their fireworks.

Marc's guide replied: "Why honored Sir, we always set off fireworks on the Forts of Chu'Lai"

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[Henry J]

Miscellaneous Jokes

Only in America
Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America... do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
Only in America... do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America... do they leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America... do they use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss a call from someone they didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in America... do they buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America... do they use the word "politics" to describe the process so well; "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures".
Only in America... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering

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May the fourth be with you!

[Henry J]

Business one liners

Appearances are not everything; it just looks like they are.

[Henry J]

As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?

[Henry J]

As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the airline encounters turbulence.