Recycling

[Henry J]

Coles law......

Written in his salad days!

[lswot]

Coles law......

Written in his salad days!

......

[Henry J]

The following are from a book called "Unwritten Laws" by Hugh Rawson

The Peter Principle (or law, as the case may be):

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his/her level of incompetence.

"Peter also offered several other insights into the workings of hierarchies, the first two of which class as corollaries and third as prescription for action":

1. Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.

2. More is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached the level of their incompetence...

3. If at first you don't succed, try something else.

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( Laurence J. Peter is a Doctor of Education )

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If you don't know where you are going, you will end up somewhere else.

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[Henry J]

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.

He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat.

The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on it's haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried. "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150.00."

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(Doesn't that one just quack you up?)

(But at least it wasn't a frog - cause then there would be something about the patient croaking. )

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[lswot]

....

[Henry J]

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

eschew obfuscation!

(Because, that Helps to stamp out, eliminate and eradicate unnecessary extraneous superfluous redundancy)

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[lswot]

"eschew obfuscation!

(Because, that Helps to stamp out, eliminate and eradicate unnecessary extraneous superfluous redundancy)"
.....

[Henry J]

Phrases of Wisdom

Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often. [I thought so!]

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. [But it's still not natural!]

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. [Variety = spice of life?]

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. [After all, nature abhors a vacuum]

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. [Seriously?]

It is easier to beg forgiveness than to ask for permission. [Sorry about that, Chief!]

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. [That's a taxing thought]

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. [But no matter where you go, there you are]

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. [Guess they're not as heavy?]

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[lswot]

"For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program."

Ain't it the truth.

[Henry J]

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

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[Henry J]

Phrases of Wisdom

It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

Only humans can understand human logic.

Phasers on stun.

Live long and prosper.

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[lswot]

......... Good ones......

[Henry J]

Sign on door of maternity ward:

PUSH... PUSH... PUSH...

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What do you call a 5' psychic who's on the run from police?

.
.
.

A small medium at large.

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"Eschew obfuscation!"

"Gesundheit!"

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[lswot]

[Xjmt]

The following are from a book called "Unwritten Laws" by Hugh Rawson

The Peter Principle (or law, as the case may be):

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his/her level of incompetence.

"Peter also offered several other insights into the workings of hierarchies, the first two of which class as corollaries and third as prescription for action":

1. Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.

2. More is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached the level of their incompetence...

3. If at first you don't succed, try something else.


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( Laurence J. Peter is a Doctor of Education )

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If you don't know where you are going, you will end up somewhere else.

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Great book!