Recycling

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If it doesn't fit in any of the other forums, it goes here. Knock yerself out.

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Henry J
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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Mon Aug 28, 2017 6:23 pm

A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems but, it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
--Herm Albright

Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.
- Descartes,

Keep your eyes ever skyward...... and you'll never miss Life's Highlights!!
(Unless you're walking through a cow pasture.)
-Ziggy

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lswot
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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Tue Aug 29, 2017 10:04 am

Cartoon: Frank and Earnest
At the TV program Development Dept

Another "Star Trek" series? What happened to going where no one has gone before?
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

Henry J
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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Tue Aug 29, 2017 6:55 pm

Resistance was futile - they've all been assimilated?

Henry J
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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Tue Aug 29, 2017 6:56 pm

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Place two children in a room full of toys and they will both want to play with the same toy.
(Or, just as likely or maybe more likely - the packaging that toy came in. )

Help eliminate and eradicate unnecessary redundant obfuscation.

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Or girl scout cookies?

If love is blind, and marriage is an institution, is marriage an institution for the blind?

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Henry J
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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Wed Aug 30, 2017 6:23 pm

All general statements are false; think about it.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
All generalizations are useless, including this one.

All good things must come to an end, I just want to know when they start!

All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy.

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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Thu Aug 31, 2017 6:20 pm

Three old guys are out walking.

First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"

Second one says, "No, its Thursday."

Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Fri Sep 01, 2017 6:40 pm

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."

"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?".

"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees.

"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"

She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."

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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Sat Sep 02, 2017 1:33 pm

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Sun Sep 03, 2017 1:12 pm

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.

"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"

"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"

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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Mon Sep 04, 2017 1:59 pm

Labor Day joke:

Sign on maternity room door:

"PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!"

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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Tue Sep 05, 2017 5:45 pm

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art It's perfect"

"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"

"Twelve thirty."

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(Does anybody really know what kind it is? )

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lswot
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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Wed Sep 06, 2017 10:09 am

.... :rotfl:
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

Henry J
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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Wed Sep 06, 2017 6:51 pm

Political Jokes

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs "give me your money," he demanded.

Indignant, the affluent man replied, "you can't do this!“ I am a United States congressman!"

"In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."

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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Thu Sep 07, 2017 3:14 pm

Men Vs. Women Jokes

A family went to a hospital, where one of their relatives would be having a brain transplant. One of the relatives asked, "What will the cost of a new brain be?"

The doctor replied, "A female brain costs $25,000 and a male brain costs $50,000."

The men smirked, but one of the females asked, "Why is that, doctor?"

"Well," the doctor replied," the female brain is less because it has been used."

(I resemble that remark!)

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lswot
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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Thu Sep 07, 2017 5:15 pm

.... :lol:
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

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