Recycling

[lswot]

well.....like my Mom always said......"It doesn't pay to be ignorant unless you can show it."

[Henry J]

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Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question? What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was! better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered.... is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the ot her half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day.... or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT ... make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?
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Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life

Now....what is the moral to this story?

Scroll down
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The moral is.....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly
-

Roger Stegman

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(Well, either that or the witch just decided that she did love her Lance - a lot. )

[lswot]

um....don't judge a book by its cover?

[Henry J]

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Problem with my watch...

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I live in California, and my watch is three hours fast,
I can't fix it, so I'm moving to New York.

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[lswot]

.. we all have to make sacrifices.....

[Henry J]

Three leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a Bud. Miller's president orders a Millers and the president of Coors orders a Coors. When it is Guinness turn to order he orders a soda.

Why didn't you order a Guinness everyone asks? Nah Guinness replies. If you guys aren't having a beer neither will I.

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[lswot]

. good one

[Henry J]

A Fish Tale

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Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day long an he done run outta night crawlers. He be bout reddy to leave when he see a snake wit a big frog in his mouf. He knowed dat dem big bass fish like frogs, so he decide to steal dat froggie. Dat snake, he be a cotton moufed water moccasin, so Boudreaux had to be real careful or he git bit.

He snuk up behine dat snake and grab him roun de haid. Dat ole snake din't lak dat one bit. He squirm and wrap hisself roun Boudreaux's arm try'n to get hisself free. But Boudreaux hada real good grip on his haid. Well, Boudreaux pried his mouf op en and got de frog and put it in his bait can.

Now, Boudreaux know dat he cain't let go dat snake or he gonna bite him good . . . . . . so he had a plan. He reach into de back pocket of his bib overhauls and pull out a pint a Tennessee hillbilly moonshine likker. He pour some drops in de snakes mouf. Well, dat snake's eyeballs dey roll back in his haid and his body go limp.

Wit dat, Boudreaux toss dat snake into de bayou, den he go back to fish'n. A while later, Boudreaux dun feel sumpin tappin' on his barefoot toe.

He s l o w l y look down and dere be dat cotton moufed water moccasin . . . . . . . . . wif two more frogs.
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Roger Stegman

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(nee-deep. nee-deep. )

[lswot]

..ribbit (or however you spell it)

[Henry J]

I think the frog just croaked...

[lswot]

rutro

[Henry J]

When did Astro get on this thread?

[Henry J]

There was a Jewish Rabbi, an Irish Priest and a Baptist Preacher in a boat fishing.

They got thirsty so the Baptist Preacher volunteered to go get some cold beer. He stepped out of the boat and walked across the water to the bait shack and back with the drinks.

Later they got hungry so the Irish Priest volunteered to go get sandwiches.

He stepped out of the boat and walked across the water to the bait shack and brought back some sandwiches.

Later they needed more bait. The Jewish Rabbi volunteered to go get some.

He stepped out of the boat and sank.

The Irish Priest looked at the Baptist Preacher and said "Do you think we should have told him where the pilings are?"

Badda Boom.

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[lswot]

When did Astro get on this thread?

Looking for Shaggy?

[Henry J]

Oh sorry, was that Scooby rather than Astro? They do sound somewhat alike sometimes...