The Show Place

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

[Beauty is in the eye of the electorate?]

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

[Oh, keep your shirt on.]

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

[Judging from the way it's sometimes portrayed on TV and in movies, it's the clothes you died in.]

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

[Doesn't matter since they're both unmentionable]

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

[They're not people of letters?]

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

[So long as it's not an udder failure]

[Got milk?]

Or watch a white thing come out a chicken's behind and think, "that ought to taste good."

[I guess there's a yolk in there somewhere!!]

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

[Indecent people gotta eat too, don't they?]

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped buy the police and asked for you license, are you going to be smiling?

[Say "cheese!", Or as Veldar would say, "lactic extract of hoofed mammal!"]

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

[Maybe lights need some heat to work?]

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

[Not to mention girl scout cookies, as Miss Addams once pointed out]

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

[If it doesn't get caught by some body]

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

[It's all the script writer's fault]

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

[Not to mention that Pluto's master is a mouse! SQUEAK!]

If Wily E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

[Maybe it wasn't listed in the catalog?]