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 Post subject: Re: Recycling
PostPosted: Fri Jul 17, 2015 9:16 am 
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ach!

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eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......


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 Post subject: Re: Recycling
PostPosted: Fri Jul 17, 2015 2:59 pm 
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gesundheit!


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 Post subject: Re: Recycling
PostPosted: Fri Jul 17, 2015 5:56 pm 
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PONDERABLES

Can you cry under water? [salt water or fresh?]

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? [cause they're out on a limb?]

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? [Somebody cut corners?]

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to? [Is that why change is inevitable?]

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? [Judging from the way it's sometimes portrayed on TV and in movies, it's the clothes you died in.]

Why does a round pizza come in a square box? [Cause the box makers haven't cut corners?]

What disease did cured ham actually have? [Too much cholesterol?]

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 Post subject: Re: Recycling
PostPosted: Fri Jul 17, 2015 6:11 pm 
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Check this out!!!

http://www.blastr.com/2015-7-14/watch-c ... le-charity

_________________
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......


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 Post subject: Re: Recycling
PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2015 4:42 pm 
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Location: Colorado
PONDERABLES

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? [It just wasn't rocket science?]

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? [Noisy at one end, and don't ask about the other end]

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? [But at least there's that right to silence...]

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? [Put yourself behind a Pepsi, if you're living, you belong...]

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? [I'm not either one, so it doesn't apply]

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? [Because size matters?]

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? [Beauty is in the eye of the electorate?]

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 Post subject: Re: Recycling
PostPosted: Sun Jul 19, 2015 9:25 am 
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PONDERABLES

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. [Oh, keep your shirt on.]

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? [Ghostbusters?]

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? [Doesn't matter since they're both unmentionable]

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? [They're not people of letters?]

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" [So long as it's not an udder failure]

Or watch a white thing come out a chicken's behind and think, "that ought to taste good." [I guess there's a yolk in there somewhere]

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? [Indecent people gotta eat too, don't they?]

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 Post subject: Re: Recycling
PostPosted: Sun Jul 19, 2015 9:36 am 
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Things to ponder....... :smile:

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:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......


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 Post subject: Re: Recycling
PostPosted: Mon Jul 20, 2015 6:11 pm 
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PONDERABLES

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? [Maybe lights need some heat to work?]

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped buy the police and asked for you license, are you going to be smiling? [Say "cheese!", Or as Veldar would say, "lactic extract of hoofed mammal!"]

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? [If it doesn't get caught by some body]

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? [It's all the script writer's fault]

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! [Not to mention that Pluto's master is a mouse!]

What do you call male ballerinas? [Dancers?]

If Wily E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? [Maybe it wasn't listed in the catalog?]

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 Post subject: Re: Recycling
PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2015 5:27 pm 
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Location: Colorado
PONDERABLES

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? [Not to mention girl scout cookies, as Miss Addams once pointed out]

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? [Or possibly from oxymorons?]

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? [Disney Land came first, didn't it? ;) ]

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? [Can astronomers be people of letters?]

Why did you just try singing the two songs above? [Things were too quiet]

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? [Let us get to the bottom of this...]

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog 's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? [It's smellamentary!]

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 Post subject: Re: Recycling
PostPosted: Wed Jul 22, 2015 6:04 pm 
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Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument an exchange of ignorance.

Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

We only do well the things we like doing.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

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 Post subject: Re: Recycling
PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:44 pm 
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Location: Colorado
The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play. [There's a line?]

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. [Did you charge them?]

Of those who say nothing, few are silent. [You have the right to remain...]

Brevity is the soul of wit. [Assist with the reduction of excess superfluous redundancies!]

The closed mouth gathers no foot. [Or other extremities]

Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday. [And he didn't even have the Professor or Gilligan to help]

Incompetents invariably make trouble for people other than themselves. [The Peter Principle at work?]

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 Post subject: Re: Recycling
PostPosted: Fri Jul 24, 2015 9:46 am 
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"The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play. [There's a line?]" Yeah, it's called money!

_________________
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......


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 Post subject: Re: Recycling
PostPosted: Fri Jul 24, 2015 11:23 am 
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As in a "line" of credit?

:D


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 Post subject: Re: Recycling
PostPosted: Fri Jul 24, 2015 5:17 pm 
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yeah......that, too :huh:

_________________
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......


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 Post subject: Re: Recycling
PostPosted: Fri Jul 24, 2015 5:30 pm 
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Tv Watcher
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Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
Posts: 14979
Location: Colorado
Living in a vacuum sucks. [Like an Electrolux?]

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. [Forget about it!]

Nothing improves the memory more than trying to forget. [Forget what?]

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible. [But skunks just use a prayer: "let us spray"]

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. [Although the banana doesn't fly; it just splits]

In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait. [Eel be bait?]

In the U.S. we have a word for escargo: snails. [Or maybe slugs with shells?]

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