A guy walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000.
The bank officers says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the guy hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, parked on the street, in front of the bank.
Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the guy returns and repays the $5000, and the interest, which is $15.41.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5000?"
The guy replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for $15.00?"
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If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.
ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE.....
If at first you don't succeed -- try management.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
Never quit until you have another job.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
If you can read this, you're not working!
Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
Pride, commitment, teamwork -- words we use to get you to work for free.
Succeed in spite of management.
Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore*.
There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore.
*(It's also for internet BB browsing.
)--------------------
Henry
lswot
Uh, what was your boss' name, again? 
