Recycling

[brian]

No danger of that!

[Henry J]

No danger, Will Robinson?

[LHawke]

No danger of that!

no, seriously, I fell and it hurts to laugh! Much less snort like a pig!

[LHawke]

No danger, Will Robinson?

why do I have a vision of dryer tubes swirling around in front of me....

[lswot]

'LIFE'
THOUGHTS

Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?'
She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?

Now that food has replaced sex in my life,
I can't even get into my own pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Wouldn't you know it....
Brain cells come and brain cells go,
but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

[Henry J]

*********
Jack came into the clubhouse one Sunday afternoon sporting a big black eye. "What happened to you?" asked one of his friends.

"Have you noticed that beautiful young woman who just joined the club?" Jack asked.

"Sure," said his friend. "Who hasn't?"

"I happened to be standing by the first tee when she came over and took the cover off her clubs."

"So?" said his friend.

"I told her it looked like she had a really nice set."

*********

(He complimented her set, so she clubbed him? What we had there was a failure of communication! Maybe they should try to iron something out, fore the sake of getting along, wood not you think? That would after all be the fair way. )

Henry

[LHawke]

I'm feeling a little green...

[lswot]

can't blame you!

[Henry J]

*****
OVERHEARD ON NOAH'S ARK

12. "I gotta pee."

11. "Did anyone think about bringing a couple of umbrellas?"

10. "Hey, there are more that two flies in here!"

9. "I finally get a bass boat and now I have to take the whole family..."

8. "Wasn't someone supposed to put two shovels on board?"

7. "Help! I need some Pepto for the elephants--QUICK!"

6. "OK, who's the wise-guy who brought the mosquitoes on board?"

5. "Don't make me pull this Ark over and come back there!"

4. "No, Ham, you cannot eat the pig!"

3. "And whatever you do, DO NOT pull this plug out."

2. "Nice doggie!"

1. "Are we there yet?"

*****

Re 12 - good thing they had two heads for this project, huh?
Re 11 - to go with the shovels and boots?
Re 10 - where'd I put that swatter?
Re 9 - I dunno - they seem to be kind of floundering.
Re 8 - with the umbrellas?
Re 7 - where'd we put those shovels? And boots?
Re 6 - where'd I put that swatter?
Re 5 - or do you wanna be assigned elephant duty?
Re 4 - or else we won't be able to bring home the bacon!
Re 3 - unless there's an elephant on hand to sit on it, anyway.
Re 2 - WOOF!
Re 1 - where'd I put that swatter?

Henry

[lswot]

You have waaayyyy too much time on your hands.

[Henry J]

You have waaayyyy too much time on your hands.

And you hate temporal mechanics - got it!

Henry

[lswot]

[Henry J]

*****
"We have to hire a new choreographer, since with that injury the current one is incapacitated."

"Can't we just drive to Capacitated and get her?"

"One of these days I've got to get that girl a dictionary."

*****

Henry

[Henry J]

From another BB:

My favorite Turkey recipe

a turkey recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing ingredient -- imagine that.

8 - 15 lb. turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good)
1 cup un-popped popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT IS BEST)
Salt/pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with
stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan making sure the neck end is
toward the front of the oven, not the back.

After about 4 hours listen for the popping sounds.
When the turkey's rear end blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room,.... it's done.

*****

[lswot]

Warning: Do not try this at home!