Recycling

[lswot]

Non sequitur....

[Henry J]

In Honour of Stupid People (part 1 of 3)

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???.... )

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well... duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(... and you thought????... )

To be continued...

*****

Henry

[lswot]

Things we just didn't know.....right?

[Henry J]

Well, as Sergeant Schultz would say... "I know no-think!"

[lswot]

Yep....that fits

[Henry J]

In Honour of Stupid People, continued

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and... I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to... what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash) (But wait, aren't peanuts technically legumes?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh... fly Delta?)

Exercise for student: compute the part number of this post.

To be continued...

*****

[lswot]

"Exercise for student: compute the part number of this post."

That does not compute......


How 'bout the phrase: One size fits all.

Really????

[Henry J]

If the first one was "part 1 of 3", then the second one is ... ?

[lswot]

What?

[Henry J]

Who?

[Henry J]

In Honour of Stupid People, continued

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my stars! was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even chuckle)... in other words send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

And remember...

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Only two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the former. (Albert Einstein)

The closed mouth gathers no foot.

Stupid is as stupid does (from a guy who could see the Forrest for the trees).

Eschew obfuscation. (Gesundheit!)

*****

Henry

[LHawke]

Don't use a multi-syllabic word when a monosyllabic will suffice.

[lswot]

Well I'll be darn.

[Henry J]

Supercallifragilisticexpialadocious!

[Henry J]

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

*****