Recycling

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If it doesn't fit in any of the other forums, it goes here. Knock yerself out.

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lswot
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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Thu Oct 16, 2014 5:09 pm

:D
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

Henry J
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Re: Recycling

Post by Henry J » Thu Oct 16, 2014 6:46 pm

Synthohol?

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Post by Henry J » Thu Oct 16, 2014 6:48 pm

*****
A woman asks her husband, "How about going shopping with me?"

"I can't." he says. " I'm having a problem with my eyes."

"Oh? What's the problem?" she asks.

"I can't see myself going to shopping with you."

*****

Henry

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Post by Henry J » Fri Oct 17, 2014 6:37 pm

Speaking of the English language:

It’s is not, it isn’t ain’t, and it’s it’s, not its, if you mean it is. If you don’t, it’s its. Then too, it’s hers. It isn’t her’s. It isn’t our’s either. It’s ours, and likewise yours and theirs.

– Oxford University Press

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Post by Henry J » Sat Oct 18, 2014 8:46 am

Kim, in charge of the personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex.

She sent this reply: "Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we do have a few alcoholics."

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Henry

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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Sat Oct 18, 2014 9:53 am

:lol: :lol:
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

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lswot
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Re:

Post by lswot » Sat Oct 18, 2014 10:00 am

Henry J wrote:Speaking of the English language:

It’s is not, it isn’t ain’t, and it’s it’s, not its, if you mean it is. If you don’t, it’s its. Then too, it’s hers. It isn’t her’s. It isn’t our’s either. It’s ours, and likewise yours and theirs.

– Oxford University Press
Is this obfuscation? :)
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

Henry J
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Post by Henry J » Sat Oct 18, 2014 9:52 pm

Eschew that!

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Re:

Post by Xjmt » Sun Oct 19, 2014 8:07 am

Henry J wrote:Eschew that!
Gesundheit!

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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Sun Oct 19, 2014 11:08 am

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

Henry J
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Post by Henry J » Sun Oct 19, 2014 11:23 am

*****
You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself.

Galileo Galilei

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You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.

John Morley

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I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: "no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall".

Eleanor Roosevelt

*****

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Post by Henry J » Mon Oct 20, 2014 7:07 pm

*****
Subject: Short Story Assignment

The girl was supposed to write a short story, in as few words as possible, for her college class. The instructions were that it had to include something regarding Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.

She was the only one who received an A+ and this is what she wrote:

Good God, I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?

*****

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Re: Recycling

Post by lswot » Tue Oct 21, 2014 11:04 am

oh my....... :smile:
:beamup: lswot
eccl 2:13

"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......

Henry J
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Post by Henry J » Tue Oct 21, 2014 6:31 pm

*****

The other day, Amy and I got into a petty argument. (I say it was petty. She said it was Armageddon.)

As is our nature, neither of us would admit the possibility that we might be in error.

To her credit, Amy finally said, "Look... I'll tell you what. I'll admit I'm wrong if you admit I was right."

"Fine." I said.

She took a deep breath, looked me in the eye and said, "I'm wrong."

I grinned and replied, "You're right."

*****

Henry

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Post by Henry J » Wed Oct 22, 2014 6:56 pm

One night at an economy motel, a guy ordered a 6 AM wake-up call. The next morning, he awoke before 6, but the phone did not ring until 6:30.

"Good morning," a young man said sheepishly. "This is your wake-up call."

Annoyed, he let the hotel worker have it. "You were supposed to call me at 6 a.m.!" he complained. "What if I had a million-dollar deal to close this morning, and your oversight made me miss out on it?"

"Well, sir," the desk clerk quickly replied, "if you had a million-dollar deal to close, you probably wouldn't be staying in this motel."

*****

(Would you like fries with that?)

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