Recycling

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Fri Dec 05, 2014 11:53 am

"Anonymouse" is very funny.

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Fri Dec 05, 2014 8:04 pm

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Posted Sunday, May 16, 2004 @ 04:56 AM

From NETSCAPE'S WHAT'S NEW.

The No. 1 Most Irritating Cliché

We hear them 24/7. But at the end of the day, which cliché makes you want to scream? With all due respect, figuring this out is not rocket science. At least, that's what a group called the Plain English Campaign thought. Led by John Lister, it surveyed more than 5,000 English-speaking people in 70 countries to determine the most annoying clichés of all time.

And the No. 1 most annoying cliché is: "at the end of the day."

And that is so right! There is nothing more annoying than a serious business executive standing before a room of bored employees droning on about "at the end of the day....blah blah blah." Folks just stop listening when those words are uttered. Which is exactly Lister's point about clichés. "When readers or listeners come across these tired expressions, they start tuning out and completely miss the message--assuming there is one," he told The Associated Press. "Using these terms in daily business is about as professional as wearing a novelty tie or having a wacky ringtone on your phone." Since he surveyed people in 70 countries, Lister expected geographical variations. He was surprised. The same tired old phrases are universally annoying around the world.

The Most Irritating Clichés:
1. At the end of the day
2. At this moment in time
3. The constant use of "like," as if it were a form of punctuation
4. With all due respect

Irritating Cliché Runners-Up:
--24/7
--absolutely
--address the issue
--awesome
--ballpark figure
--bear with me
--between a rock and a hard place
--blue-sky thinking
--bottom line
--crack troops
--glass half full (or half empty)
--I hear what you're saying
--in terms of
--it's not rocket science
--literally
--move the goal posts
--on a weekly basis
--ongoing
--singing from the same hymn sheet
--the fact of the matter is
--thinking outside the box
--to be honest with you
--touch base

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Roger Stegman

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An Example Of Good Writing

WE MUST absolutely address the issue about THE awesome ballpark figure. bear with me, WE ARE between a rock and a hard place AND MUST GET OUT OF THIS WITH blue-sky thinking ABOUT THE bottom line. WE MUST SEND crack troops TO THINK ABOUT WHETHER THE glass half full (or half empty). I hear what you're saying in terms of THE FACT THAT it's not rocket science, literally. WE MUST move the goal posts on a weekly basis IN OUR ongoing EFFORTS TO BE singing from the same hymn sheet.
the fact of the matter is THAT WE ARE thinking outside the box. to be honest with you, WE MUST touch base REGULARLY, IN FACT WE MUST DO SO --24/7

AGREE?

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Roger Stegman

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Well, let's run it up the flag pole and see if anyone salutes.
Have your people call mine and we'll do lunch.
Caio'.

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Lee

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Yeah, using phrases like those would be like being out on a limb up a tree without a paddle!

Henry

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sat Dec 06, 2014 10:28 am

Progress:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

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Henry

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 11:23 am

A young preacher was asked by the local funeral director to hold a grave-side burial service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns. Eventually, a half-hour late, he saw a backhoe and its crew, but the hearse was nowhere in sight, and the workmen were eating lunch.

The diligent young pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place.

Taking out his book, he read the service. Feeling guilty because of his tardiness, he preached an impassioned and lengthy service, sending the deceased to the great beyond in style.

As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say: "I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years and I ain't never seen anything like that.

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lswot · Post by **lswot** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 6:09 pm

Chuckle

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sun Dec 07, 2014 9:26 pm

Keep in mind, the grass is always greener over the septic tank.

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Mon Dec 08, 2014 12:28 pm

So I've heard........

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Mon Dec 08, 2014 7:13 pm

These two green beans are crossing the freeway when one of them is hit by an 18-wheeler. His friend scrapes him up and rushes him to the hospital. After hours of surgery, the doctor says "I have good news and bad news."
The healthy green bean says, "Okay, give me the good news first."
"Well, he's going to live."
"So, what's the bad news?"
"The bad news is he'll be a vegetable for the rest of his life."

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Xjmt · Post by **Xjmt** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 10:54 am

Boo-Hiss!!!

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 5:40 pm

Four Jack Rabbits are strolling in the prairie. Out of nowhere, a gang of coyotes begins to chase them. So the rabbits run under a huge cactus for refuge.
Then the hungry coyotes surround the cactus. One jack rabbit says to another, "Okay, should we make a run for it, or wait till we outnumber them?"

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"A guy walks into a bar with a pair of jumper cables hanging around his neck. The bartender gives him a look and says gruffly, "All right, pal, I'll let you stay, but don't start anything."

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Henry

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Tue Dec 09, 2014 5:43 pm

Henry J wrote:Four Jack Rabbits are strolling in the prairie. Out of nowhere, a gang of coyotes begins to chase them. So the rabbits run under a huge cactus for refuge.
Then the hungry coyotes surround the cactus. One jack rabbit says to another, "Okay, should we make a run for it, or wait till we outnumber them?"

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"A guy walks into a bar with a pair of jumper cables hanging around his neck. The bartender gives him a look and says gruffly, "All right, pal, I'll let you stay, but don't start anything."

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Henry

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Wed Dec 10, 2014 7:19 pm

One day this guy was sitting at this bar in Chicago and looks over and sees this guy that looks exactly like him. He says to the guy, “Hey you look just like me!”
The other man agrees and asks, “Where are you from?”
The first guy answers, “Chicago.”
“Me too!” says the second guy, “What street do you live on?”
“Forty-Ninth Street,” answers the first guy.
“Me too!” says the second guy, becoming increasingly excited. “What's your address?”
''951.”
“Me too! Wow, this is incredible! What are your parents' names?”
“John and Cathy,” says the first guy. “Me too!” shouts the second guy. “I wonder if we're related!?”
Meanwhile, the bartenders are changing shifts and the guy coming on asks if anything is new. “No,” says the first bartender, “just the Smith twins, drunk again.”

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lswot · Post by **lswot** » Thu Dec 11, 2014 11:50 am

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Thu Dec 11, 2014 7:06 pm

Yeah, those two guys were beside themselves!

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Thu Dec 11, 2014 7:07 pm

First Golfer: "I have the greatest golf ball in the world. You can't lose it."
Second Golfer: "How so?"
First Golfer: "If you hit it into the sand, it beeps. Hit it into the water, it floats. If you want to play golf at night, it glows."
Second golfer: "Wow, that does sound like a great ball. Where'd you get it?"
First golfer: "Found it in the woods."

*****

(FORE! )

(Five? )

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