Recycling

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sat Dec 20, 2014 9:30 am

What boots up must come down.

Fax is stranger than fiction.

Don't byte off more than you can view.

The geek shall inherit the earth.

The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

*****

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sun Dec 21, 2014 8:09 am

A man is in the hospital after getting drunk and swallowing 120 coins on a bet. Doctors monitoring his situation say, so far, no change.

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lswot · Post by **lswot** » Sun Dec 21, 2014 12:30 pm

<Groan>

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sun Dec 21, 2014 1:35 pm

And here I thought change was inevitable*...

(*That is, except from vending machines.)

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Mon Dec 22, 2014 8:37 am

Hitchhiking on a dark night, a man sees a car coming toward him. When it stops, he hops in the passenger seat.

No one is behind the wheel. But, suddenly, the car starts moving. The man looks down the road and sees a curve coming up. He panics and reaches for the steering wheel. But then a hand reaches through the window and turns the wheel, smoothly navigating the turn. Paralyzed with terror, the man watches as the hand appears before every curve.

When the car finally coasts to a stop, the man gets out and runs to a bar and tells everybody about his amazing experience.

Pretty soon, two guys walk into the bar. "Look, Pete," one says, "it's the guy who got in the car while we were pushing it."

*****

Henry

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Mon Dec 22, 2014 10:53 am

good one!!!!

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Tue Dec 23, 2014 10:23 am

Two women were talking about their trips to Switzerland. The first woman asked the second whether she had enjoyed the beautiful scenery.
"Not really", she replied. "I couldn't see much because of the mountains."

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Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Wed Dec 24, 2014 7:24 am

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.
Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen - had to be a girl.
We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

*****

Henry

Xjmt · Post by **Xjmt** » Wed Dec 24, 2014 10:09 am

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Wed Dec 24, 2014 12:15 pm

Xjmt wrote:

Ditto!!

lswot · Post by **lswot** » Wed Dec 24, 2014 12:17 pm

Merry Christmas!!!!

Have a wonderful Christmas and a very happy New Year!

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Thu Dec 25, 2014 8:04 am

For Christmas I bought my brother a combination fax machine and paper shredder. Either we hooked it up wrong or a lot of people are faxing him confetti.

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lswot · Post by **lswot** » Thu Dec 25, 2014 5:37 pm

Were's an engineer when you need 'em?

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Fri Dec 26, 2014 8:25 am

Don't ask me, I'm in software not hardware!

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Fri Dec 26, 2014 8:29 am

Two tour groups visited England. They happened to rent a double-decker bus, with one group downstairs and the other upstairs. The downstairs group was singing and dancing and the group upstairs just sat there. Finally, one of the downstairs people went upstairs and asked why they weren't having as much fun. "It's easy for you to relax and have fun," said one of the upstairs guys, "You have a driver."

*****

The Show Place

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