An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's. [Or as bad!]
Change is good, but dollars are better. [And it's inevitable. Except from vending machines.]
Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius. [But, never underestimate human stupidity!]
If the shoe fits, it's too expensive. [Oh, deer!]
Being punctual in our Office was of no benefit what-so-ever. There was never anybody around to appreciate it.
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Recycling
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Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Re: Recycling
The Pasta Diet and Your Health
ITALIAN PASTA DIET -- IT REALLY WORKS !!
1.. You walka pasta da bakery.
2.. You walka pasta da candy store.
3.. You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop
4.. You walka pasta da table and fridge.
You will lose weight!
AND......
CONCERNED ABOUT TOO MANY CARBS IN YOUR DIET?
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.
It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like - Speaking English is apparently what kills you!
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Pasta la vista!
ITALIAN PASTA DIET -- IT REALLY WORKS !!
1.. You walka pasta da bakery.
2.. You walka pasta da candy store.
3.. You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop
4.. You walka pasta da table and fridge.
You will lose weight!
AND......
CONCERNED ABOUT TOO MANY CARBS IN YOUR DIET?
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.
It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like - Speaking English is apparently what kills you!
**********
Pasta la vista!
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lswot
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:13710
- Joined:Sun Aug 31, 2003 11:53 am
- Location:California
Re: Recycling
So ....walka pasta the beera. nah.......
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
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Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Re: Recycling
Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery. [What'd you say?]
Life is too important to be taken seriously. [Ha ha ha... ha?]
A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat. [And, a closed mouth gathers no foot]
Nobody loves me but my mother, And she could be jivin' too. [Was that a Freudian slip?]
It is useless to send armies against ideas. [Sneaky little things, huh?]
England and America are two countries separated by the same language. [But with incompatible spell checkers]
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Life is too important to be taken seriously. [Ha ha ha... ha?]
A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat. [And, a closed mouth gathers no foot]
Nobody loves me but my mother, And she could be jivin' too. [Was that a Freudian slip?]
It is useless to send armies against ideas. [Sneaky little things, huh?]
England and America are two countries separated by the same language. [But with incompatible spell checkers]
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Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Re: Recycling
Optimist, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white. [Actually, the glass was simply the wrong size]
My curiosity is my creativity on the way to discovery. [Find thyself!]
If you scatter thorns, don't go barefoot. [Or walk a mile in somebody else's shoes]
He who would leap high must take a long run. [Or have a trampolene]
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice. [Eschew obfuscation!]
Art is making something out of nothing and selling it. [So the universe is a work of art?]
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My curiosity is my creativity on the way to discovery. [Find thyself!]
If you scatter thorns, don't go barefoot. [Or walk a mile in somebody else's shoes]
He who would leap high must take a long run. [Or have a trampolene]
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice. [Eschew obfuscation!]
Art is making something out of nothing and selling it. [So the universe is a work of art?]
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lswot
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:13710
- Joined:Sun Aug 31, 2003 11:53 am
- Location:California
Re: Recycling
"Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice. " 
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
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Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Re: Recycling
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake. [Check!]
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. [Oh? What about the bad guy in The Incredibles?)
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
To feel fit as a fiddle you must tone down your middle. [i.e., a waist is a terrible thing to mind]
The only way to have a friend is to be one. [Well, yeah!]
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. [Oh? What about the bad guy in The Incredibles?)
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
To feel fit as a fiddle you must tone down your middle. [i.e., a waist is a terrible thing to mind]
The only way to have a friend is to be one. [Well, yeah!]
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Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Re: Recycling
Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence.
RESOLUTE, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve.
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
The biggest shortage of all is the shortage of common sense.
If age imparted wisdom, there wouldn't be any old fools.
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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RESOLUTE, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve.
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
The biggest shortage of all is the shortage of common sense.
If age imparted wisdom, there wouldn't be any old fools.
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Re: Recycling
One thing you can give and still keep is your word.
He who boasts of his ancestry is praising the deeds of another.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance.
The wise man avoids evil by anticipating it.
Music . . . can name the unnameable and communicate the unknowable.
Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness.
Where observation is concerned, chance favors only the prepared mind.
He is richest who is content with the least.
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He who boasts of his ancestry is praising the deeds of another.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance.
The wise man avoids evil by anticipating it.
Music . . . can name the unnameable and communicate the unknowable.
Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness.
Where observation is concerned, chance favors only the prepared mind.
He is richest who is content with the least.
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Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Re: Recycling
Subject: Best Drunk Story
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!"
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"
The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says...................
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A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!"
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"
The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says...................
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Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Re: Recycling
A Teenager is
A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.
A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.
A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows from his/her best friend on Wednesday.
Someone who can hear a song by Madonna played three blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.
A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed.
A student who will spend 12 minutes studying for her history exam and 12 hours for her driver's license.
A youngster who is well informed about anything he doesn't have to study.
An enthusiast who has the energy to ride a bike for miles, but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.
A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and Very Loud.
A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates her brother.
A person who is always late for dinner but always on time for a rock concert.
A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.
A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.
A boy who can sleep until noon on any Saturday when he suspects the lawn needs mowing.
An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.
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A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.
A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.
A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows from his/her best friend on Wednesday.
Someone who can hear a song by Madonna played three blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.
A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed.
A student who will spend 12 minutes studying for her history exam and 12 hours for her driver's license.
A youngster who is well informed about anything he doesn't have to study.
An enthusiast who has the energy to ride a bike for miles, but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.
A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and Very Loud.
A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates her brother.
A person who is always late for dinner but always on time for a rock concert.
A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.
A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.
A boy who can sleep until noon on any Saturday when he suspects the lawn needs mowing.
An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.
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lswot
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:13710
- Joined:Sun Aug 31, 2003 11:53 am
- Location:California
Re: Recycling
lswoteccl 2:13
"A Government big enough to give you every thing you want, is big enough to take away every thing you have."
......Thomas Jefferson......
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Xjmt
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:13815
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 6:13 am
- Location:Ohio
Re: Recycling
lswot wrote:
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Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Re: Recycling
Newest son-in-law A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law.
I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family, said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations.
The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise'.
"I see," replied the father-in-law. Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.
"I hate office work", said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day".
"Wait a minute, said the father-in-law. I just make you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?"
"Easy, said the young man. Buy me out".
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I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family, said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations.
The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise'.
"I see," replied the father-in-law. Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.
"I hate office work", said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day".
"Wait a minute, said the father-in-law. I just make you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?"
"Easy, said the young man. Buy me out".
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Henry J
- Tv Watcher
- Posts:17968
- Joined:Tue Sep 02, 2003 7:21 am
- Location:Colorado
Re: Recycling
Expect the worst and you won't be disappointed.
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(Or, if ya like sausage, expect the wurst, instead.)
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(Or, if ya like sausage, expect the wurst, instead.)
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