Recycling

[Henry J]

Dear Abby - I joined the Navy to see the world. I seen it. Now how do I get out?

(Out of the navy? Or out of the world?)

[Henry J]

Dear Abby - My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.

(If only some people suffer from insanity, do the rest enjoy it?)

[Henry J]

Dear Abby - My mother is mean and short tempered. I think she is going through mental pause.

(Let us put that one on pause.)

[Henry J]

Dear Abby - You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband has lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

(Get a second opinion?)

[Henry J]

Dear Abby - I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't even know he drank until one night he came home sober.

(But at least beauty is in the eye of the beer holder... )

[Henry J]

Why can't pirates recite the alphabet?
The always get lost at C.

[Henry J]

Neutrinos have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

[Henry J]

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

[Henry J]

I had amnesia once -- maybe twice (I forget).

[Henry J]

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.

[Henry J]

All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy.

[Henry J]

They told me I was gullible.... and I believed them.

[Henry J]

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

[Henry J]

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.

[Henry J]

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. [But a TV remote can do the same job.]