Recycling

[Henry J]

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

[Maybe the theory is that greater force might energize the system? Nah. ]

[Henry J]

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

[Because of cash or charge?]

[Henry J]

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

[Because?]

[Henry J]

This one might be fruitful:

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

Keep Scrolling
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
Keep Scrolling
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"
"No Way!"
Keep scrolling
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was angry! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

[Henry J]

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

[Henry J]

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

[Henry J]

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

[Henry J]

We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

[Henry J]

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

[Henry J]

AND FINALLY:

------------
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

------------

[Henry J]

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

[Just leave the cap open too long!]

[Henry J]

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

[Why, because of all those close shaves in the jungle, by George of the!]

[Henry J]

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

[Maybe cause iron is harder than lead?]

[Henry J]

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

[Same reason as anybody else - in case of a minor accident! )

[Henry J]

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

[Doesn't matter; it's all going down the drain anyway!]