Recycling

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Thu Feb 10, 2022 1:48 pm

ALZHEIMER'S' EYE TEST

Count every "F" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

(SEE BELOW)

How many?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

3?

4?

How about 6?

So how many did YOU count?

Let's see it! Let us know.

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Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Fri Feb 11, 2022 2:59 pm

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south.

They decided to go by airplane.

When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed they were carrying two dead raccoons.

"Do you wish to check the raccoons through the baggage?" she asked.

"No thanks." replied the vultures.

"They're carrion."

[And, within the limit of two carrions per passenger! ]

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Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sat Feb 12, 2022 2:55 pm

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.

After conferring, the two nuns decide to lock the door, strip off their habits and paint in the nude.

In the middle of the project there is a knock at the door.

" Who is it?" calls one of the nuns.

"Blind man" replies a voice from the other side of the door.

The nuns look at each other and shrug. Deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.

"Uh, hi there" says the man. "Where do you want these blinds?"

(Oh, I see - said the blind man to his sister? Ah well, so long as he doesn't make a habit of it. )

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Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sun Feb 13, 2022 5:51 pm

Sitting behind a couple of nuns at a baseball game (whose head gear partially blocked the view), three men decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move.

In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I'm going to move to Utah, there are only 100 nuns living there."

The second guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Montana, there are only 50 nuns living there."

The third guy said, "I want to go to Idaho, there are only 25 nuns living there."

One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet, calm voice said, "why don't you go to hell... there aren't any nuns there."

DianeZ

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Okay, that's enough nunsense for one day.

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Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Mon Feb 14, 2022 1:56 pm

If you need a laugh, read through these Children's Science (part 1 of 3)

Exam Answers.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

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Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Tue Feb 15, 2022 1:42 pm

If you need a laugh, read through these Children's Science (part 2 of 3)

Exam Answers.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

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Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Wed Feb 16, 2022 2:19 pm

If you need a laugh, read through these Children's Science (part 3 of 3)

Exam Answers.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts---the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

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Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Thu Feb 17, 2022 1:58 pm

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office.

He says, "I'm a tee-pee! I'm a wig-wam! I'm a tee-pee! I'm a wig-wam! I'm a tee-pee! I'm a wig-wam!"

The psychiatrist responds, "You need to chill. You're two tents."

[Well, to all in tents and purposes... ]

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Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Fri Feb 18, 2022 2:49 pm

How come?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sat Feb 19, 2022 6:52 pm

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Sun Feb 20, 2022 3:10 pm

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Mon Feb 21, 2022 2:41 pm

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Tue Feb 22, 2022 3:40 pm

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Wed Feb 23, 2022 3:11 pm

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Henry J · Post by **Henry J** » Thu Feb 24, 2022 2:02 pm

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

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