Recycling

[Henry J]

Things learned from college (continued)

You learn to sleep with light, noise, extreme temps, and roommates snoring.
You don't have to cover your textbooks anymore.
People that were geeks in high school seem okay now.
Your parents start to tell you stories about their college days.
With all the wealth of knowledge around you, you start to feel like you're on intellectual welfare.
Going to the mini-mart is a major treat.

[Henry J]

As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.

[Henry J]

As they say in Beirut, Shiite happens.

[Henry J]

Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes.

[Henry J]

At any level of traffic, any delay is intolerable.

[Henry J]

Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups.

[Henry J]

Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.

[Henry J]

Automatic simply means that you can't repair it yourself.

[Henry J]

Batman is the hero any of us could be, given determination, exercise, and deep psychological trauma.

[And money - don't forget that, since it's his only real superpower. ]

[Henry J]

Celebrity Wheel of Fortune had Michelle Trachtenberg (aka Dawn Summers) tonight, although it says it's a repeat from last year.

[Henry J]

Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upward from the floor.

[Henry J]

Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes clear to the bone.

[Henry J]

The Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order.

"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.

"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.

"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.

"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.

"I want a root beer float," said the second piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," exclaimed the third little piggy.

"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy," but why have you only ordered beer all evening?"

The third piggy says - "Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!"

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(Where's that big bad wolf when ya need 'em... )

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[Henry J]

Meade's Maxim: Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everyone else.

[Henry J]

Believing is seeing.

Better latent than never.

Beware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose.

Bad news drives good news out of the media.