Recycling

[Henry J]

Daylight savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Question on test: "It's always darkest before ____".
Student's answer: "Daylight Saving Time".

[Henry J]

The trouble with political jokes is that too many of them get elected!!!!

[But that aside, my ballot went into a drop box Saturday. But, it's contents are secret. ]

[Henry J]

Optimist, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

[Actually, the glass was simply the wrong size]

[Henry J]

My curiosity is my creativity on the way to discovery.

[Find thyself!]

[Henry J]

If you scatter thorns, don't go barefoot.

[Or walk a mile in somebody else's shoes]

[Henry J]

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

[Oh? What about the bad guy in The Incredibles?)

[Henry J]

He who would leap high must take a long run.

[Or have a trampoline]

[Henry J]

Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.

[So the universe is a work of art? Well, okay, an astronomically large work of art. ]

[Henry J]

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

[Eschew obfuscation!]

[Gesundheit!]

[Henry J]

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

[Check!]

[Henry J]

To feel fit as a fiddle you must tone down your middle.

[i.e., a waist is a terrible thing to mind]

[Henry J]

Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence.

[Crazy, man!]

[Henry J]

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

[Well, gee]

[Henry J]

The only way to have a friend is to be one.

[Well, yeah!]

[Henry J]

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.